


Drunken Deep and Meaningful

by Beau_bie



Series: a place to stay [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Awkward Encounters, Bullying, Eventual James Potter/Severus Snape, F/M, Marauders, Modern Era, Name-Calling, Out of Character, Sensitive Conversations, mentions of bullying, sensitive topics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27653858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beau_bie/pseuds/Beau_bie
Summary: Before James and Severus got together they hadn't seen each other for several years. Things happened, people changed and their paths crossed again.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Series: a place to stay [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021861
Kudos: 46





	Drunken Deep and Meaningful

If someone had told Severus just a few short years ago that he would be in a long term relationship and living with his high school bully he would never have believed them.

He thought that once James and Lily had gotten together he wouldn't have to see either of them again.

He had been mistaken.

Severus had been working at a pub at the time, helping him pay his way through University.

James had come in one night, wearing black jeans, a white button up shirt, several buttons unbuttoned in a casual way, a lazy, relaxed way that screamed 'I have money, please look at me'. Not Severus' words, his co-worker had used that phrase and he had thought it fitting.

But James didn't look like he wanted to pick up, to speak to anyone, plonking his arse down in front of Severus and ordering a pint, the first of many that night.

And that continued for weeks until Severus said that if James didn't sober up he would no longer serve him alcohol.

James stopped coming in, probably finding another pub, another bar, a bottle shop and a park bench.

Severus knew what alcohol did to people. He'd watched his father slowly kill himself with the drink. He didn't want that for James, no matter what James had done to him in the past. No one deserved that.

Then one night he'd found James wandering the streets drunk, lost, confused. He'd taken him back to his home, waiting for him to sober up.

"I don't want to go home," James had said, pale, sweating, smelling like cheap bourbon and stale beer.

"You'll have to eventually," Severus said, placing a wet flannel on his forehead.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" James asked, his voice trembling, his body shaking, skin clammy.

"My mum always told me to be the bigger person," Severus said softly.

Severus realised in that moment that James was crying, and, in a moment of compassion for the man who'd tormented him relentlessly throughout school, held James' hand in his, squeezing it softly.

It was a while before either of them spoke. James spoke first.

"Is... is this what forgiveness feels like?"

"No. Because I haven't forgiven you."

"I don't think I could ever really ask you to," he said, and, just moments later he was snoring.

Severus sighed, standing up from the chair he'd been perched on, watching James to make sure he didn't vomit all over himself (and all over Severus' bed).

He made his way to the kitchen, filling a glass with water and drinking like he'd never tasted water before. He filled another glass and walked back to the bedroom, setting the glass next to James.

He was about to head back to the lounge room when James jolted awake, speaking up. 

"Severus?"

"Yes, Potter?"

"Why can't you call me James?"

"I can," he replied, surprising himself.

"Thank you."

"You only call me Severus when you're drunk," he pointed out.

"What do I call you normally?"

Severus felt uncomfortable. The high school nicknames had unfortunately buried their way into Severus' mind. He wished they'd quieten, but in his quietest moments the memories replayed on loops for hours.

_Useless. Ugly git. Snivellus. Loser. Waste of space._

_I wish you hadn't been born. Wouldn't have to look at your ugly mug then._

_Just kill yourself. No one would care._

_Fuck off and die._

He couldn't say them aloud. He didn't want to. He didn't think he could deal with drunk James also calling him these names, bringing up those memories.

"Sev?" He took the flannel off his forehead and looked at him. "Are you-?" 

Severus wiped his eyes. "Hm?"

"You're crying."

"You're rather observant."

James sighed. "Did I..." he let it trail off. "Of course I've made you cry. I know it isn't the first time."

"Let's not talk about it. You get some sleep."

"No, I'm feeling better, let's talk."

"I'm not participating in your three thirty in the morning drunken deep and meaningful."

James reached out, but Severus stepped back.

"I'll get you a new flannel." He walked to the bathroom, opening the cupboard and grabbing the flannel, running the cold water over it. He had to get some sleep. He'd been in class all day, then he'd worked until late again. This was just another test of his patience, he was sure, and he was losing.

He made his way back to the bedroom where James was sitting upright, sipping the water. "I can tell I'm sober.

"You're not sober."

He sighed. "Okay."

He shook his head taking the empty glass from James' outstretched hand. "Would you like another?"

James shook his head. "I need to piss."

"Let's get you up. See how sober you are."

James grunted, shuffling to the edge of the bed, his hands shaking.

Severus held his hand out, James taking it and helping himself up. 

"Think I need to shit."

Severus stared at him incredulously. "Let's just get you to the bathroom."

Soon enough he had James sat on the toilet, making his own way to the kitchen and making himself a coffee. He didn't think he was going to get much sleep at all now, he may as well start to caffeinate.

Why had he put himself in this predicament? How had this all unfolded? How had he let it get this far?

He sighed, leaning against the bench. He finished his coffee, his eyelids fluttering, heavy, tired. Hopefully soon the caffeine would kick in.

"Sev?"

"Are you finished?" he asked, setting the coffee mug down and walking into the bathroom.

"Yeah. Can you help me up?"

Severus nodded, moving next to James and linking his arms around his waist. "Ready?"

James nodded.

"Okay, on three. One, two, three," he said, helping James to stand.

James stood, stumbling and accidentally smacking the wall with his hand. "Fuck," he grunted, shaking his hand and smacking it on the doorframe, cussing again.

"James," Severus sighed, looking at James hand.

"I'll be fine," he sighed.

"Can you lean against the wall so I can pull your pants up, since you won't," he added. 

"Yeah, sorry, I'll get them," he said, trying to pull his pants up.

"I'll fix you," he said, pulling up James' pants, his large cock getting caught on the elastic of his underwear. Severus felt his cheeks flush, tucking James back in. 

James gasped, his hand moving to touch his cock.

"Don't," Severus said. "Let's just get you back to bed.

James nodded, yawning and allowing himself to be steered to the bedroom via the bathroom sink where he managed to splash water all over Severus. He tucked James back into bed. 

"You stay in there and get some sleep, okay?"

"I don't want to sleep," he yawned.

"You're obviously very tired."

James shook his head, as he fell back asleep, his eyelids heavy.

Severus sat next to the bed, tired, but not wanting to fall asleep with James so close by. He didn't exactly trust him. 

He felt his eyelids droop, rubbing them, hoping to keep awake. What he wasn't expecting was for James' phone to fall out of his pocket, landing next to him with a thud. 

Severus picked it up and set it on the bedside table, but was intrigued when the screen lit up, revealing many messages that hadn't been replied to. Severus realised he must have bumped the sensitive screen and the app was already opened. He'd have to profusely apologise to James. Especially when he would more than likely wake up sober.

He looked back at the phone, picking it up watching the screen light up. He swiped away the lockscreen and saw the messages were from Lily over the course of the night.

_Where the fuck are you?_

_I told you that you weren't allowed out._

_You said you'd stay home._

_You better not be with Sirius. I told you that he was getting between us._

_James call me right fucking now._

_-Missed call.-_

_-Missed call.-_

_Call me back you fucking idiot._

_I don't know why I put up with you. You're a fucking loser and a liar._

_Sorry I called you a loser._

_Can you just come home?_

_Call me!_

_-Missed call.-_

_-Missed call.-_

_Fuck you._

Severus set the phone back down, looking at James. He had no idea things weren't great between him and Lily, however it definitely appeared to be a factor in James' heavy drinking. 

He stood up, making his way back to the kitchen and preparing himself another cup of coffee. He didn't think he could broach the subject of Lily with James. He could simply pretend that he hadn't seen it, which was simple enough, but he didn't want the subject to be brought up either. What could he say? He didn't know how to give advice. He had always been single. He wasn't personable, likeable. He was just... the opposite. People avoided him and averted their eyes. How could he blame them? He had inherited the worst of both his parents.

"Sev?"

He sighed, setting the cup down and walking into the bedroom. "Yes?"

"My phone is ringing."

Severus looked at the bedside table where the light was just visible on the down facing phone, the soft sound of the ringtone just audible. "Why don't you answer it?"

"I don't want to answer it."

"Is it your wife?"

"I wish I hadn't married her."

Severus tentatively stepped closer, sitting on the chair. "I couldn't help but notice Lily sends you a lot of messages."

James grabbed his phone, sighing. "I don't want to go home," he sighed, his arm flopping over his face. "I can't go home."

"Why-?"

"You saw the messages. You tell me."

"I'm sorry-" he paused, unable to read James' face. "She is abusing you, isn't she." He lifted James' shirt, the bruises illuminated under the poor light of the phone screen. "They're from her? Or do you just have really wild sex?"

James sat up. "She isn't who you were friends with."

"How would you know?"

"Do you still love her?"

"No. I haven't for years."

James just sighed. "Well you're lucky."

"By the looks of it, yes, I suppose I am."

James looked at Severus. "I'm sorry." He started crying, drawing his knees up to his chest, hiding his face in his hands.

Severus rubbed James' back, unsure what to do. He had asked. He got the answer. And now that he had opened the can he was unable to stuff the worms back in.

"Thank you," James said.

"What for?" Severus asked quietly.

"For all of this. Taking care of me. Talking to me. I have felt unable to talk about this for the last few years."

"How long has this been going on?" Severus asked.

"Since we got married. It was like a switch. We got back from our honeymoon and everything was different. She was critical of everything I did, and suddenly never wanted me to see Sirius or Remus and by then Peter had moved so I couldn't even see him and everything just felt so wrong. Soon she wanted to start trying for a baby, and I didn't... I didn't think I could do that. I just thought... things aren't working out, why would I bring a kid into this?"

"So, no children?"

"No. No kids."

"What can I do to help you?"

"What?" James looked up at him, his eyes puffy, red, cheeks tear-stained.

"How can I help you?"

"You... you want to help me?"

"I do."

James mouth opened, but no words came out. He closed his mouth, teeth dragging over his bottom lip, eyes darting around the room. "You... you're serious?" he settled on.

"I am."

"Oh wow... Sev... I don't know how I can ever thank you."

"I haven't done anything yet. Perhaps-"

"You don't understand... and I hope you never have to, how your words give me hope."

Severus realised in that moment that he might have bitten off more than he could chew, but he would try his best to help James. In that moment, they found a truce.


End file.
